Now the star wars can really begin

I can remember a time when astronomers were excited to have discovered the first extra-solar planet (planets outside of our own solar system). It was only 1991, which wasn't that long ago. I'm no astronomer, but I was excited by the discovery as well. Somehow it made the infinitely huge universe seem that much larger.

Well, that discovery was, like, sooo last decade. Since then astronomers have identified nearly 350 planets abroad in the Milky Way. Some of them, scientists speculate, are likely to have similar conditions to our own planet Earth.

But wait! There's a new reason to feel that the universe is expanding. Astronomers are now stating that they may have seen the first extra-galactic planet. It showed up when they applied a microlensing technique in the direction of the Andromeda Galaxy, roughly 2.5 million light years away. The new planet is said to have six times the mass of Jupiter.

No one has stated yet whether the newly discovered planet is inhabited by wookies.

[Full Story]

This was hard to figure out...

... and it doesn't even include the regex .dll I had to write in C# to make the stored procedure work! Watch it crash when I actually put it live : )

CREATE PROCEDURE [dbo].[UpdateFolderSort]
(
@folder_id int,
@folder_sort int = NULL
)

AS

DECLARE @root_decimal varchar(500)
DECLARE @folder_parent int
DECLARE @old_decimal varchar(500)
DECLARE @folder_level int
DECLARE @pos int
DECLARE @level_loop int
DECLARE @regex_prefix varchar(500)

BEGIN
SET @folder_parent = (SELECT folder_parent FROM Folders WHERE folder_id = @folder_id)
END

BEGIN
IF @folder_parent IS NOT NULL
SET @root_decimal = (SELECT folder_decimal FROM Folders WHERE folder_id = @folder_parent)
END

BEGIN
SET @old_decimal = (SELECT folder_decimal FROM Folders WHERE folder_id = @folder_id)
SET @old_decimal = RIGHT(@old_decimal, 4)
END

BEGIN
SET @folder_level = (SELECT folder_level FROM Folders WHERE folder_id = @folder_id)
END

IF @folder_level = 1
BEGIN
UPDATE
Folders
SET
folder_decimal = STUFF(folder_decimal, 1, 4, SUBSTRING('0000',1,4 - LEN(CONVERT(varchar(4), @folder_sort))) + CONVERT(varchar(4), @folder_sort))
WHERE
dbo.RegexMatch(folder_decimal, @old_decimal + '\.') = 1 AND folder_lineage LIKE '%/' + CONVERT(varchar(4), @folder_id) + '/%'
END
ELSE
BEGIN
SET @pos = ((@folder_level - 1) * 4) + @folder_level

SET @level_loop = 1
SET @regex_prefix = ''
WHILE @level_loop < @folder_level
BEGIN
SET @regex_prefix = @regex_prefix + '\d{4}\.'
SET @level_loop = @level_loop + 1
IF @level_loop = @folder_level
BREAK
ELSE
CONTINUE
END

UPDATE
Folders
SET
folder_decimal = STUFF(folder_decimal, @pos, 4, SUBSTRING('0000',1,4 - LEN(CONVERT(varchar(4), @folder_sort))) + CONVERT(varchar(4), @folder_sort))
WHERE
dbo.RegexMatch(folder_decimal, @regex_prefix + @old_decimal + '\.') = 1 AND folder_lineage LIKE '%/' + CONVERT(varchar(4), @folder_id) + '/%'
END

BEGIN
IF @root_decimal IS NOT NULL
BEGIN
UPDATE
Folders
SET
folder_sort = @folder_sort,
folder_decimal = @root_decimal + '.' + SUBSTRING('0000',1,4 - LEN(CONVERT(varchar(4), @folder_sort))) + CONVERT(varchar(4), @folder_sort)
WHERE
folder_id = @folder_id
END
ELSE
BEGIN
UPDATE
Folders
SET
folder_sort = @folder_sort,
folder_decimal = SUBSTRING('0000',1,4 - LEN(CONVERT(varchar(4), @folder_sort))) + CONVERT(varchar(4), @folder_sort)
WHERE
folder_id = @folder_id
END
END

You know you're having a bad day when...

You're bicycling down the road and all of the sudden you're knocked out by a corpse thrown from a speeding car.

True story.

Don't Answer

I don't want answers.

I want to be inspired to the possibilities.
I need a mystery,
A promise of an answer
Skirting softly in flickers of secret glances,
Written in glyphs carved in stone
no one remembers,
Spoken in dead languages,
Indecipherable,
An old key to a lock to no one knows where
found in a box in the back of the closet.
Mysteries open ended where the truth,
if there ever was one,
is whatever story you wove that fit the clues

or simply the question alone,
left unanswered.

When you said no,
that you were leaving,
I couldn't understand.
You spoke too clearly.
What did you mean?

Gun control laws are totally useless...

I read the following and thought, there's no amount of safety laws you can have to protect people from guns.

Glasgow, Ky, Oct. 21 -- Luther Johnson, a young farmer living in the southern
part of this county, blew into the muzzle of a shotgun early this morning to see
if it was loaded. It was.

Actual death notice published in the Louisville Courier-Journal, October 22, 1899

Facebook, you don't know me.

Facebook has unveiled a mockup of their new home page, which looks like an improvement at first glance. There's new features for filtering out the noise and showing just what means most to you. I like that.

Then I saw the new "Hilights" section and rolled my eyes. It's not surprising that Facebook would move towards pushing content to its users. It's more surprising that it's taken them so long to get around to that. It's the way that they're doing it that makes me cringe.

Featured photos, events, notes and more that you don't want to miss. Stories are chosen based on what your friends have interacted with.

[My emphasis]

In the early days of TiVo, users complained about the heavily played up profile feature that automatically recorded programs that it thought its users would want to see, without them explicitly specifying such programs, based on what they had watched before. It sounded like a good feature, that is until TiVo decided they were gay.

Look, Facebook, here's the thing. You don't know me. And you're not going to find out what I like using some algorithm that analyzes what my friends click on. I don't really have much in common with my friends (even the real ones, not just the ones I recruited to help me kick ass in Mob Wars). I like my friends exactly because of our differences. I tried to hang out with people who are like me and it was just annoying, probably because I often annoy myself.

I've got some weird friends too, into some weird things. It's fine that they're into weird things, they're my friends, but I don't really go there myself, you know? No, you don't know. And that's the point. You're just a super-computer sitting out there running statistics to see how many of my friends watch a certain television show. If enough of them are lesbians and watch The L Word, somehow that means I'm a lesbian too?

Dude, you seriously don't know me, so stop pretending that you do.

Oh, and by the way, you suck at pushing content anyway. All those people you think I might know sitting over there on the side of your old home page... I didn't know any of them. That creepy looking guy with the mean mug that you left up there for three months thinking I might know him, though after hundreds of page loads your algorithm should of guessed that I didn't, well, he's just creepy. Please don't push me any content he clicked on.

Thanks.

Partial sunshine of the spot-filled mind

One of my favorite movies of all time is Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet's Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Basic plot:

A couple undergo a procedure to erase each other from their memories when their relationship turns sour, but it is only through the process of loss that they discover what they had to begin with.

Awesome tagline:

I already forget how I used to feel about you.

So anyway, giving credence to the idea that there really is a pill for everything, it appears that scientists in the UK have developed a pill that promises to selectively erase painful memories. Woah, talk about redefining the human condition. As one medical ethics lecturer in London put it: "Removing bad memories is not like removing a wart or a mole. It will change our personal identity since who we are is linked to our memories."

Everyone has their personal traumas and demons. I know I have mine, and I've never met a person who didn't suffer from some dark memory. But I don't think I could give them up. I wouldn't say that personal identity is "linked to our memories". I would say that they are entirely comprised of our memories. Any sort of present awareness is transitory, slipping into the past in less than nanoseconds. The only thing that connects these isolated moments to a personal identity, a sense of self, is memory.

The question, instead, is whether bad memories have good value. That's a really tough call. Imagine, really, an eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. I mean, it's called the human "condition" for a reason. It's nearly impossible to even think about a complete bliss. The best we could even consider, if we're being honest about it, is a near-bliss. I think we need our bad memories in some way to be human.

Maybe a partial sunshine of the spot-filled mind is spot on, and being half-miserable is being full-human.

(See also Memento, where a man suffering from short-term memory loss has to rely on tattooing important things on his body to cling to a sense of self.)

X-Files 3 is a definite maybe

I know everyone out there who saw the X-Files: I Want to Believe and wasn't impressed will roll their eyes, but I don't care. With 2012 looming on the horizon, and the show's mythology targeting that date for an end-of-the-world alien colonization, it's just enough to keep hope alive in the franchise despite lackluster box office earnings for the second movie last summer.

Frank Spotnitz (X-Files Producer) responded to the XF3 possibility question at a book signing on Feb. 21, 2009 by saying "I will be very surprised if there isn't another X-Files movie before 2012." [view video of the response]

Yay!

The second movie didn't completely bomb, and it did turn a profit. Plus, a lot of fans said that they were disappointed that it wasn't an epic alien flick like this possible third one promises to be. Blah, blah, blah, I don't care. Just put Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny in it, stamp a big X across the movie poster, and at least one fan, I, will watch it no matter what.

Ice storm '09 pics

[Finally got around to posting pics of the ice storm... what, almost a month later? : ) ]

So there was snow and ice, and before it could melt off there was more snow and ice. It wasn't that much -- I think we only got three to five inches total around here -- but the weight of it all accumulated on the smaller twigs at the end of limbs and around 1:30 in the morning on Jan. 28th we heard a few big breaks and the power went off. The power stayed off for seven days, and we had record low temperatures in those seven days. And it was cold.



This is what I woke to in my front yard on Wednesday. We have two beautiful flower producing trees out front and now they just look sad. This picture doesn't do it justice. You couldn't walk anywhere without having to step over branches. See that big clump by the front door? That wasn't there when Tracie walked out the first time. She stepped outside on the front porch, came back in, said it was bad, then BOOM! and the whole front porch was covered. She missed it coming down on her head by five seconds, at most.



The dog loved it, though.



Everything was covered in snow and ice. This is our back deck. As you can see, most of our yard is covered in trees. We thought it was charming. Don't tell the neighbors, but I think it was the trees in our yard that knocked all the power out in the neighborhood. Oops.



It was cold. I'm not that chubby. That's five layers of clothes. We spent most of the time under a mountain of clothes and blankets, but I get antsy if I'm idle too long, something about the amount of coffee I drink.



Exactly one day was halfway decent. The temperature got up to the upper '50s, so we spent the day out on the deck soaking up the sun, just relaxing. This actually made the whole experience worthwhile. I have a pretty busy life and forget to take the time every now and then to just... relax. When forced into that situation, it doesn't escape my notice that it's different, and special. I grilled up some of the meat from the freezer before it went bad and just enjoyed nature for a few hours, at a time when any sane person would be bemoaning it. The sun really does replenish the soul.



See? That's a Jeremy squinting in the sun, but at peace with everything.



The dog loved it.



And even the cats were happy for awhile (of course the particular cat pictured here is the most spoiled cat in the entire world anyway).

Most of the days weren't this nice, though, and it was a bit of a struggle. It's not like I'm a landscaper who makes his money off grinding falling limbs. I'm a techie who sorta needs power to get things done. So I spend a lot of time running around borrowing wi-fi connections from coffee shops, the parking lots of hotels, and the library.

Now that's actually interesting, and worthy of comment. I was an early adopter of wi-fi and bought one of the first laptops to come equipped with a wi-fi antenna. I set up my house with a wireless router, had fun moving from room to room without breaking connection, and loved the freedom it gave to work anywhere around the house. The first day I got it, I went wardriving, looking for open connections around the neighborhood. Eventually, though, it lost its novelty and I stopped carrying my laptop with me everywhere I go. When I'm out, the last thing I want to do is work, so I don't spend much time surfing the web when I'm away from the home or office. I'm probably one of the few who don't bother getting a data package for his mobile phone. I don't really need it.

So anyway, forced to rely on wi-fi after the ice storm, rather than recreationally wardriving out of curiosity, I'm amazed at how far the adoption has come in just a few years. I mean, it used to be that you had to creepily park out in front of people's homes or offices, or maybe hop a few fences to get a decent connection. Nowadays we're permeated with Internet signals. They're everywhere. If you can't find a public, open, and free connection today, you really are off the map. I guess it's always been that invisible radio signals were passing through us carrying the voices of talk show hosts and Elvis, but it's weird to think that spam, porn, and this guy are now out there microwaving the cells in our brain. *shivers*

Back to the ice storm...

We shouldn't bitch. Across the state of Kentucky, at least a half a million homes were without power and the storm is blamed for at least 36 deaths. We had some resources at our disposal, and I was like a friggin' Boy Scout as a kid and went camping all the time in winter, so we didn't do too bad.

Every day the news was talking about how many houses had their power turned back on that day. It was a lot, but I knew we were towards the bottom of the list. Towards the end, you could sort of guess when they would have yours back on (there weren't many left). When we figured there was only a day or two without power left, we sprung for a hotel room with a hot tub in it.



Why the hot tub in the room? Well, 'cause that's how we roll.

-------

After the power came back on, things pretty much went back to normal, but we had a lot more debris in our yard than most of my neighbors. I didn't want to waste the opportunity, so last weekend we had a big bonfire, a couple of beers, and some marshmallows to toast it all.



My dad came down for our little party. He's drunk.



It was fun. I guess I could of dragged all this stuff out to the side of the road and someone would have picked it up eventually, but what better way to celebrate ice than with fire?

A pirate's life for me... definitely.

So what do you do when you're the most infamous repository of file sharing links on the web, and someone finally drags you into a Swedish court? Well, if you're PirateBay.org, not only do you bring your entourage of Harvard Law students and a "media juggernaut of bloggers, Twitterers, and press", you cart them all from Belgrade to Stockholm in this totally awesome bus called S23K. Then you promise to broadcast the entire spectacle via Twitter feeds (#spectrial), IRC channels, blogs, and you throw in a live audio feed of the entire trial to boot. And then, in the middle of it all, you throw a HUGE party paid for with donated cash!

Napster punked out, totally.

So as a programmer who enjoys his own rights to his own intellectual property, I don't know where I stand on their swap everything service, but I do like their anti-establishment style. With all their crew of personal press, they don't miss the opportunity to thumb their nose at the traditional press, saying, "[we] do not speak with assholes".

Full story

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.