What I Understood

What I Understood
by Katha Pollitt


When I was a child I understood everything
about, for example, futility. Standing for hours
on the hot asphalt outfield, trudging for balls
I'd ask myself, how many times will I have to perform
this pointless task, and all the others? I knew
about snobbery, too, and cruelty—for children
are snobbish and cruel—and loneliness: in restaurants
the dignity and shame of solitary diners
disabled me, and when my grandmother
screamed at me, "Someday you'll know what it's like!"
I knew she was right, the way I knew
about the single rooms my teachers went home to,
the pictures on the dresser, the hoard of chocolates,
and that there was no God, and that I would die.
All this I understood, no one needed to tell me.
the only thing I didn't understand
was how in a world whose predominant characteristics
are futility, cruelty, loneliness, disappointment
people are saved every day
by a sparrow, a foghorn, a grassblade, a tablecloth.
This year I'll be
thirty-nine, and I still don't understand it.

"What I Understood" by Katha Pollitt, from The Mind-Body Problem. © Random House, 2009

Scarefest 2009 photos

"We're ready to believe you!"



Danielle Harris. She's been in a couple of things -- Rob Zombie's Halloween II, for example -- but I'm a fan from back when she did The Last Boyscout, playing Bruce Willis' daughter.

I look like a retard in this picture.



Cool ghost hunting equipment. Probably completely useless, but they make pretty colored lights and noises.



And they call me big headed.



Some demon trying to grope my mom.



Independent documentary film maker who recently made a film about a "true" Kentucky haunting. The film's been on KET and other places, and he signed my copy.



Kane Hodder. Played Jason in a couple of the Friday the 13th movies.



Pig man was awesome! Seriously, his mask was so well done, you couldn't see any seam where man met beast.



Zombies rock! Braaaaiiiiiinnnnns.



Smelled like fried chicken.



Creepy gypsy lady.



Incredibly tall monster dude.