The apple just is

A reader commented on my post about Sarte's novel La Nausée, and since I had forgotten about the post I figured I'd do a follow up. The original post was about my discovery that Sarte wrote the book -- a book that had a huge influence in promoting existentialism -- after a bad mescaline trip. I wondered if the book would have had a more uplifting tone had his reportedly one-time drug experience been a good one.

Wow, that is incredible insight. Indeed people who are famous have wrote incredible works through what society calls illegitimate means. La Nausee is probably a "bad trip", however, most people don't want to think of that angle. That life is pointless is a dark way to look at life but there is comfort in that fact as well.

First, thanks for recognizing my brilliance : ) Seriously, though, it is interesting. Both camps, the mystics and the existentialists, say pretty similar things, that dissolving buffers will present a direct encounter with existence. I've heard this explained (forget where) as the difficulty in describing "appleness". You can never really convey the is-ness of an apple because in doing so you automatically remove yourself from the direct experience of the apple. You can say the apple is red, or the apple is juicy, or the apple is sweet, but those are all signifiers. You fill the description with symbols meant to represent the apple, but of course that's not the apple itself. The symbols are at least one step back from the apple.

Mystics and existentialists alike figure that if you can get past these obstacles you encounter pure and true reality. After this agreement, they then part ways. The mystic walks away with a sense of nondual connectedness and meaning, and the existentialist walks away seeing no connections beyond those created outside of the pure awareness.

In Sarte's book the lack of connections was viewed with anxiety and -- hence the title -- nausea. I didn't realize before then that this negative view of existence was prompted by a bad drug trip -- something that by all accounts (never taken mescaline myself) gets the adrenaline flowing, causing anxiety. That's the exact experience portrayed in the novel, that when presented with pure existence, the protagonist felt anxious and partly horrified.

This is not to say existentialism is all bad, or negative by itself sans-Sarte. It is primarily concerned with finding individual meaning, not jettisoning meaning altogether. It's just a more depressing view than the mystics' who hold that everything is interconnected. Ahem, a mystic would look at all the interconnected events that led up to Sarte taking mescaline in 1935, and all the events thereafter, including the growth of existentialism itself, and the fine-lines between good experiences and bad ones, and call the complete story inspired. Then again, the existentialist would view those apparent connections as an inspired choice.

Basically, for a bad drug trip to have been one of the sparks of the movement is surprising because many report pleasurable mescaline trips. It could have gone either direction. In a way it makes you wonder if true existentialism isn't somehow betrayed by Sarte's book. Strictly speaking, "good" and "bad" are themselves signifiers removed from any direct experience. Adjectives are never direct. Peyote may be good or bad. The apple just is.

Kerouac on the Steve Allen Show

One of my all-time favorite writers, Jack Kerouac, on the Steve Allen Show in 1959:



Kerouac was such a great influence to me because I read him during my own years of wandering aimlessly about, looking for some sort of revelation. My experience wasn't the excited utterance of On the Road — Kerouac criss-crossed the country as a vagabond several times before pounding the whole experience out on his typewriter in three weeks, single-spaced with no paragraphs, filling a one hundred twenty-foot scroll of papers taped together. No, it wasn't anything like that. But the spirit was there, and apparently it was always there I came to find out. It was there when I used to skip school at thirteen and hop the Metro bus from the suburbs of Colerain to downtown Cincinnati, hanging out in Over-the-Rhine and Washington Park, finding myself immersed in the hum and Tao of the ordinary people made extraordinary through powerful, real experiences. I didn't know it then, until I read Kerouac, but I was Beat a few generations late.

Somewhere along the line I knew there'd be girls, visions, everything;
somewhere along the line the pearl would be handed to me.

-Jack Kerouac, On the Road

A more expanded example:

If architects had to work like web designers

I didn't write this, but it so true.

Dear Mr. Architect:

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.

To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.

Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet.

However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.

While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost.

Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.

You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.

Public school system, pwned by church revival!

Hmm, methinks someone in the local area wants to send a big F-you to the folks who believe religion has no place in public schools. Nothing says screw you like an old fashioned Baptist Tent Revival right on school property : ) Great plan: Forget school levies to pay for textbooks, the Gideons will provide them for free! I'd probably be more concerned about this if it weren't so funny, and so BAM-in-your-face-Darwin!

From Maysville, Episode 10

'Nother episode of "From Maysville". This one was a lot of fun. Pig Out on Market Street. Check it out!

Never discuss religion or politics at the dinner table

You've probably heard the expression (title), but this is a blog so here goes:

Some intrepid guy was asking about people's views on atheism in a local forum website I visit now and then. This is a small-town America type community, and probably mirrors the national averages on religious population -- probably something like 80-90 percent Christian. Anyway, he's a self-styled atheist and was wondering what people in the local community's feelings were about that, like would they hold it against him or whatever. I replied something along the lines of being able to relate.

I have trouble just telling people I'm agnostic, which only means that I believe some things are unknowable, like whether there is a God or the nature of God or whether there's any meaning to life at all. It's really not all that bad, though, as far as how people treat you. In my experience, it's not like people hold it against you or anything. It's just harder to find common ground in deep conversations, especially with people firm in their convictions.

René Descartes famously stated Cogito ergo sum (I think, therefore I am). It sounds a bit narcissistic, but really all he was saying is that the only thing he could be certain of is his own existential nature, that because his mind is working he must be existent. Well, that's all good, but as a true agnostic I'm not even certain of that. For all I know I could be a character in someone else's play.

Agnosticism is pure unknowing and coming to grips with the limitation of knowledge. It's not doubt (skepticism) or disbelief (atheism). It's simply not knowing shit. It's being incapable of knowing shit to any authentic degree of certainty. It's coming to grips with those parameters, and then trying to make the best out of life. It's hard because you're left without a rulebook established by social and religious systems, and you pretty much have to evaluate each truth statement and value judgement on your own -- knowing full well that you'll never actually know if you're right or wrong.

Explaining that to people of faith, people who seem to be certain of how things work, is always a little awkward. On one hand you're mentally debunking what they're saying while they're saying it (because for you it's always "yeah, but"), and on the other hand you are deeply envious of their certainty. You know it's faith and not knowledge, and you know that they might even know that and be comfortable with it. If they don't, you're certainly not going to tell them because you don't want to be an asshole.

So, yeah, I can relate to the atheist though I'm not a disbeliever. Poor guy. For me it's just not knowing. For the atheist it's not buying it at all. Imagine having a conversation with someone you think is completely full of crap.

From Maysville, Episode 9

'Nother episode of "From Maysville". In this episode we visit the Courtyard on Cherry Alley, a new upscale restaurant with a Southern flair.

Jello + caffeine = crazy delicious!

I'm not a little old lady, so I probably won't be posting too many recipes. OK, so maybe I'll get around to posting the recipes for homemade nitrous oxide and/or vegetable-oil-based biodiesel at some point -- cause, you know, those things are useful and necessary for any home. But my point is that this isn't a recipe blog. That said, I couldn't pass this one up:

How to Make Caffeine Jello Shots
(via Wikihow)

Whether you appreciate the benefits of caffeine but dislike the flavor of coffee, or you're just looking for a new, quick way to get a caffeine fix, you'll probably be pleased with the convenience and quirkiness of caffeinated Jello shots--provided you use them responsibly, of course, since you can overdose on caffeine, just like with any drug. With these instructions, you'll be able to make a batch, keep them in your refrigerator, and grab them on the go--or serve them to groggy guests.

Ingredients

• Caffeine powder (can be bought as pure powder or made from ground up caffeine pills; see Warnings)
• Jello, multiple flavors are recommended (so different colors can represent different dosages)
• Shot glasses (paper bathroom cups can be used, or cut down plastic cups)

Steps

1. Decide on the caffeine dosage of your jello shots. Then determine how many caffeine pills you will need. A 6 oz Jello package makes about 30 shots, so figure how much caffeine you're going to need total, and divide that by the amount of caffeine per pill, which is usually 200mg. (E.g. 30 shots at 50mg each = 1500mg total, divided by 200mg = 7.5 pills needed.) In this article, 30 shots of 100mg each will be made, requiring 15 pills, but your dosage can vary by the desired intensity:

• 50mg- Mild energy rush. About equal to the caffeine in a can of cola.
• 100mg- Enough energy for 80's dance night. Equals about a 2 ounce espresso.
• 200mg- Same dose as in 2.5 cans of Red Bull.
• 300mg- Twitching starts. Jello shots begin to taste very bitter.
• 400mg- Ingesting more than 400 mg of caffeine can be dangerous, with side effects including tremors, agitation, stomach ache, and irregular heartbeat. See Warnings.

2. Grind the caffeine pills with a mortar and pestle if available. Otherwise place the pills on a sheet of paper.

3. Fold the paper in half, and go over it with a rolling pin or some other dense cylindrical object. Use moderate force so that you can crush them.

4. Keep rolling until the powder is similar in consistency to the image shown.

5. Pour the ground up caffeine into a large bowl with the Jello powder, and mix thoroughly.

6. Add the boiling water (follow the standard Jello recipe on the box for exact amount of water) and stir thoroughly. Keep stirring until all the caffeine has completely dissolved into the solution.

7. Pour the solution evenly into 30 shot glasses (or small paper cups), and refrigerate for a few hours until jiggly.

Tips

Some people prefer to grind B12 pills into the mixture too. The specific amount of B12 used is not as important as the caffeine dosage. It is more of a season to taste, a few pills for a slight added energy boost or a few more to shift into hyperdrive. Remember, however, that it is possible to get too much and suffer ill effects.

Warnings

• Caffeine is a powerful stimulant (i.e. drug) and can be toxic at high levels. Remember, the poison is in the dose. At very high doses (about 2000 mg), the effects can be severe enough to necessitate hospitalization. Make sure you do the math right when measuring the caffeine: forgetting to carry the zero could be lethal.


• People with medical conditions such as hypertension (high blood pressure), coronary artery disease (heart disease) or history of cardiac arrhythmias (heart rhythm disturbances) should first consult a physician prior to using caffeine or any other stimulants.


• If you purchase pure caffeine powder, be sure it is food grade (i.e. tested for human consumption).


• The half-life of caffeine is anywhere from 3-10 hours, depending on individual health factors. Be sure not consume too many jello shots within a 3 hour period.

From Maysville, Episode 8

'Nother episode of "From Maysville". In this episode we explore the Washington Opera House and the mystery behind Loretta's Ghost.

Indiana Jones and Batman share the theaters again

The most searched for video on the web right now is the teaser for the new Batman movie: The Dark Knight, set for Summer 2008. I don't know if anyone has made the connection yet, so I'll go ahead and put it out there, but the last time Batman shared the theaters with Indiana Jones was the summer of 1989 (Batman and Last Crusade). That was the summer I moved from Atlanta, Georgia, to Cincinnati, Ohio. It was a good year for movies (same year Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure came out. Party on dudes!). I had a crush on the girl who lived down the street and was a bit sad about moving. Of course all I remember today is the Batman t-shirt she wore the last time I saw her. Priorities, eh? : )

I had a lover’s quarrel with the world

A philosophy for life, via A Love Song For Bobby Long:

*****

Some people reach a place in time where they've gone as far as they can. A place where wives and jobs collide with desire. That which is unknowable and those who remain out of sight. See what it is invisible and you will see what to write. That's how Bobby used to put it. It was the invisible people he wanted to live with. The ones that we walk past everday, the ones we sometimes become. The ones in books who live only in someones mind's eye. He was a man who was destined to go through life and not around it. A man who was sure the shortest path to Heaven was straight through Hell. But the truth of his handicap lay only in a mind both exalted and crippled by too many stories and the path he chose to become one. Bobby Long's tragic flaw was his romance with all that he saw.

And were an epitaph be my story,
I’d have a short one ready for my own.
I would have written of me on my stone:
I had a lover’s quarrel with the world.

– Robert Frost

*****

Yep. That about sums it up.