Dear City of Maysville...
I live downtown. I really enjoy living downtown and would like to thank you for all the extra perks you've provided those of us who do live downtown. You've really outdone yourself. This past Christmas season in particular, with all the decorations and lights, made it a wonderful holiday atmosphere, and for that I say thanks.
I was caught charmed one day a few weeks past when I woke to the sound of Christmas music wafting through my windows. Thinking it an odd time for carolers, I rushed to the windows and looked out. It was then that I noticed there were no carolers; Instead there were tiny, but apparently effective loudspeakers perched upon the lamp posts. What a nice touch, I thought, and listened to some old Christmas favorites while I sipped my morning coffee. It warmed my heart to hear the songs of yore and, yes, I was caught in the spirit of Christmas. Job well done. I could imagine holiday shoppers enjoying the sounds of the season as well and thought, what a great time of the year! What other town in the country has Christmas music piped into the streets?
As the weeks rolled on and that good ol' Christmas music played day and night, and day and night, and day and night, I grew accustomed to it. Sure, I heard the exact same song played twenty times daily. Sure I heard it twenty times more as each artist's remake was played right along with the original. It's Christmas and it's festive, so it was no inconvenience at all that I had to turn my television up a few notches to drown it out. Besides, it was a lot better than the usual train whistles at one in the morning, or that crazy guy who feels it is absolutely necessary to honk his horn repeatedly as he drives home from the bar each night. It's all in the spirit of Christmas, and though I heard the same song over and over and over and over again, maybe some kid out there was hearing it for the first time, like I did when I was a kid, and maybe this Christmas season would set the tone for all the seasons to come.
Merry Christmas Maysville and thank you for the six hundred plus hours of carols you provided me to make it that much more festive!
Now that it is 1 a.m. two days after Christmas, I was wondering if you could kindly pull the plug on the artificial street music? At some point several hours ago, while I was tossing uneasily and dreaming of silver bells on every street corner, every-single-street-corner-over-and-over, in the form of tiny but apparently effective loudspeakers, the Christmas music was somehow replaced by one of those soft popular music radio stations where they sing depressing love songs over and over again, and over and over again. Sure they sound somewhat different, and are sung by different artists, but come on, aren't they all just one single song played twenty-four hours straight?
Statistically speaking the holiday season has a higher rate of depression and suicide. Some psychologists believe that this is due to the lack of sunlight during the winter. That may be true, but I now believe that it is in at least some way related to Lionel Richie.
Dear Maysville, please stop playing Lionel Richie over and over through my bedroom window. I really can't take that much more of it. Even my dog seems depressed, and my dog usually needs Prosac to calm down. Honestly, I stopped listening to Lionel Richie years ago when as a kid I realized all of his depressing love songs were all about the same thing, some sort of true love that he appeared to sing about with sincerity. I stopped believing in the sincerity of Lionel Richie when I saw him on MTV singing about everlasting love to a different girl in each video. To my impressionable young mind, "everlasting" came to mean when the "album sales ran out". Ask my old girlfriends, Lionel Richie did some serious psychological damage to me. Please Maysville, I don't want to be electrocuted cutting the wires on a lamp post, but you leave me little choice. I was passing the hair treatment section of Walmart tonight and cringed at images of Jheri Curl mullets.
In the very least, can you put the Christmas carols back on? Mr. Scrooge gives good advice: "I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." I'm with him on that. We should totally start by playing Christmas bells again instead of pop music. Gimme back my Saint Nicholas. I need some St. Nick cause Nicole, as in Richie, is sounding more and more like the spawn of Satan as each hour passes into the night.
Very truly yours,
Devoted Resident
I was caught charmed one day a few weeks past when I woke to the sound of Christmas music wafting through my windows. Thinking it an odd time for carolers, I rushed to the windows and looked out. It was then that I noticed there were no carolers; Instead there were tiny, but apparently effective loudspeakers perched upon the lamp posts. What a nice touch, I thought, and listened to some old Christmas favorites while I sipped my morning coffee. It warmed my heart to hear the songs of yore and, yes, I was caught in the spirit of Christmas. Job well done. I could imagine holiday shoppers enjoying the sounds of the season as well and thought, what a great time of the year! What other town in the country has Christmas music piped into the streets?
As the weeks rolled on and that good ol' Christmas music played day and night, and day and night, and day and night, I grew accustomed to it. Sure, I heard the exact same song played twenty times daily. Sure I heard it twenty times more as each artist's remake was played right along with the original. It's Christmas and it's festive, so it was no inconvenience at all that I had to turn my television up a few notches to drown it out. Besides, it was a lot better than the usual train whistles at one in the morning, or that crazy guy who feels it is absolutely necessary to honk his horn repeatedly as he drives home from the bar each night. It's all in the spirit of Christmas, and though I heard the same song over and over and over and over again, maybe some kid out there was hearing it for the first time, like I did when I was a kid, and maybe this Christmas season would set the tone for all the seasons to come.
Merry Christmas Maysville and thank you for the six hundred plus hours of carols you provided me to make it that much more festive!
Now that it is 1 a.m. two days after Christmas, I was wondering if you could kindly pull the plug on the artificial street music? At some point several hours ago, while I was tossing uneasily and dreaming of silver bells on every street corner, every-single-street-corner-over-and-over, in the form of tiny but apparently effective loudspeakers, the Christmas music was somehow replaced by one of those soft popular music radio stations where they sing depressing love songs over and over again, and over and over again. Sure they sound somewhat different, and are sung by different artists, but come on, aren't they all just one single song played twenty-four hours straight?
Statistically speaking the holiday season has a higher rate of depression and suicide. Some psychologists believe that this is due to the lack of sunlight during the winter. That may be true, but I now believe that it is in at least some way related to Lionel Richie.
Dear Maysville, please stop playing Lionel Richie over and over through my bedroom window. I really can't take that much more of it. Even my dog seems depressed, and my dog usually needs Prosac to calm down. Honestly, I stopped listening to Lionel Richie years ago when as a kid I realized all of his depressing love songs were all about the same thing, some sort of true love that he appeared to sing about with sincerity. I stopped believing in the sincerity of Lionel Richie when I saw him on MTV singing about everlasting love to a different girl in each video. To my impressionable young mind, "everlasting" came to mean when the "album sales ran out". Ask my old girlfriends, Lionel Richie did some serious psychological damage to me. Please Maysville, I don't want to be electrocuted cutting the wires on a lamp post, but you leave me little choice. I was passing the hair treatment section of Walmart tonight and cringed at images of Jheri Curl mullets.
In the very least, can you put the Christmas carols back on? Mr. Scrooge gives good advice: "I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." I'm with him on that. We should totally start by playing Christmas bells again instead of pop music. Gimme back my Saint Nicholas. I need some St. Nick cause Nicole, as in Richie, is sounding more and more like the spawn of Satan as each hour passes into the night.
Very truly yours,
Devoted Resident
Labels: Christmas, funny stuff, music
posted by Jeremy at
1:27 AM
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