Bad genes

My new excuse: It's hereditary.

I was visiting with my dad the other day, and I can't remember exactly how it came up, but he was telling me about all the things he used to do to torture my mom when they were younger. Things like dumping an ice cold glass of water on her while she was showering, that sort of thing. They've been married something like thirty-five years. So anyway, he was telling me all these stories and eventually it got around to one particularly story that made me stop and think: I am my father's son.

My mom and dad had just recently married and were setting up life insurance on the advice of my grandmother. Granny (grandma) and my mom were talking seriously about it, and my dad was acting much like I probably would, asking questions like, "So if she died this way, how much would I get? What about if she died this way, would I get more? What if she was murdered in her sleep, does that pay good?" He was just joking, of course, but I think he said they kicked him out of the room after awhile.

Well, that night my dad snuck a butcher knife under the pillow and when my mom came to bed he whipped it out and was like "AAAAAHHHHHH!" Scared the shit out of her and the practical joker was banished to the couch.

It's hereditary.