Cool. I'm a sportsman.

So I was watching the evening news and during the sports segment they gave an update on what's going on in the Nascar world. Forgive my ignorance if any of you are Nascar fans, but as I was watching the clips of cars speeding around the track, I started wondering why it's called a sport.

"That's a sport?" I said to Tracie who was watching along with me.

"Yep," she said.

"They just go around in circles like that?"

I'm sure there's much more to it. People are always talking about the adrenaline rush that comes from going to the track. There's probably some science to the speed and velocity and the technology of man coupled with machine and I'm probably missing something profoundly significant. When I lived in Lakeland, Florida, I actually got to ride in one of those souped-up automobiles. The Chamber of Commerce had their After Hours meeting at the track and while hob-knobbing with the elite, they let people take a few laps shotgun with the driver. Not sure how fast we were going, but it must have been like a gazillion miles per hour. Disappointingly, it still felt like a go-kart. In any case, I got to say I rode in a race car — in a tie and collar too!

Oh, sorry. So;

"They just go around in circles like that?" I said.

"Yes," she said.

I'm not picking on Nascar. The Kentucky Derby is considered a sport as well, and the horses just go around in circles too. I guess it's just my assumption that sports have to have something to do with physical activity. The jockeys get a bit of exercise while trying to stay on the horse, and the horse itself gets plenty of exercise, but the jockey's still just riding along while going around in circles.

"But if it's just competition that makes a sport, why aren't video games?"

They are, she said, and pointed out all the gaming tournaments that gamers train for where sponsors give huge prizes to the winner. I guess so. I knew about the tournaments, but I didn't know they were considered a sport. Apparently they are. The Internet doesn't lie.

"Well I play video games."

I don't play that much, but I do every now and then. I played Neverwinter Nights regularly for about a year and dabble in first-person shooters from time to time. I'm a good sniper. We had teams and goals and all of that. I wondered if the bit that I do play would count and then thought that if someone plays just a little basketball, they still play. If someone does just a little fishing, they still kill fish, right? Tony Hawk turned skateboarding into a sport. Who'da thunk it? ESPN2 turned every other crazy thing we do into a sport (they recently added drum and bugle corps to the lineup). I'm sure I fit in there somewhere. All I need is a sponsor.

"Cool. I'm a sportsman."

You could almost hear her eyes roll.